The record started as a journal. A voice memo at 2am after a conversation with my mother that went sideways. Then it became something bigger than that, a reckoning. Here’s how 13 tracks about losing faith became the most honest thing I’ve ever made.
Track by Track, Mostly
“Sunday’s Daughter” came first because that’s where the story starts. You have to establish what I was before you can understand what I’m saying now. I wanted that song to sound like a girl who still half-believes, warm enough that you think maybe it’s going to be a redemption story. It’s not a redemption story.
The middle section of the record, tracks five through nine, is where it gets hard. “Whose Blood,” “Spare the Virgins,” “Pro-Life Pro-Gun.” Those songs required me to sit inside things I’d spent years trying to make sense of. To stop making sense of them. to just name them out loud.
I almost cut “Heathen” three times. It felt too obvious, too on-the-nose. My producer kept putting it back on the sequence because he said it was the only song where I sounded like I was having fun. He was right. I was having fun. That’s allowed, it turns out.
“Heaven Was a Threat” closes because it’s the most peaceful I feel. Rage is productive. Rage gets things built and torn down. But the closer isn’t rage. it’s the morning after the fire.
Thirteen tracks. Zero apologies. I’d make it again.