Unfiltered Thoughts
No PR, no spin. Just what's actually on our mind.
Why I Left the Altar
They tell you not to read the Old Testament too closely. Convenient when it’s violent. Suddenly literal when it’s telling you who you can’t love.
Read →The 90s Fine Look: Grunge Raised Me
Every generation steals the last one's rebellion. The flannel comes back because the thing underneath the flannel is still true. It was never really about the decade.
Read →Office Humor From a Woman Whose Office Is a Closet
My coworkers are a condenser mic and a dying plant. Here's the office comedy nobody told me about: I am the difficult coworker and I cannot fire myself.
Read →Cozy Fits for Studio Hibernation
Fingerless gloves from a hardware store, a three-dollar thrift cardigan that has become a ritual object, and the complete studio hibernation uniform: unglamorous and essential.
Read →POV: You Own a Business and It Owns You Back
Indie artist equals small business owner, and nobody warned me about the quarterly taxes, the licensing contract I've been avoiding, or the spreadsheet behind the dream.
Read →A Warm and Cozy Home for a Cold-Hearted Heathen
My apartment is full of warm lamps and blankets and a pothos that refuses to die. Turns out I've been building the sanctuary I never had as a kid.
Read →Bisexual Visibility Isn’t a Sin
The church told me I was broken because I liked boys and girls. The world told me to pick a side. I wrote “Both / Neither” instead.
Read →Whiskey for Beginners, From the End of the Bar
I learned whiskey from a bartender who handed me a pour without a pop quiz. Here's the no-gatekeeping guide: styles, how to taste, and why snobs can get bent.
Read →I Let TikTok Choose My Song and It Read Me to Filth
The song filter is accidental tarot. The algorithm doesn't know you, but your reaction to a random result absolutely does.
Read →Pinky Up: Class Is a Costume
The pinky-up trend is funny because it knows the costume is a costume. Growing up working class in a church of appearances, I never forgot I was wearing one.
Read →The Hypocrisy Is the Point
You can’t be pro-life and pro-gun and then act surprised when I write a song about it. These positions aren’t in tension. They’re designed.
Read →Your Deep Wisdom Quote Is a Bible Verse in a Trench Coat
Half that 'deep wisdom' content is scripture with the God-parts scrubbed out, and the original context is way more interesting than the Instagram version.
Read →Generational Wealth for People Who Started With Generational Debt
Nobody skips the chapter where you start with generational debt and money shame so thick you can barely think. Here's what actually helped.
Read →Life Lately: A Photo Dump With Commentary Nobody Asked For
The honest captions behind the photo dump: 1:47am studio sessions, cold tea, Lazarus thriving against all odds, and a listener email that wrecked me in the best way.
Read →The Realization That Unraveled Everything
I read the Bible cover to cover with no pastor between me and the text. One thread pulled, and the whole thing came apart in my hands.
Read →Numbers 31 and the Women Nobody Named
Thirty-two thousand girls taken as war plunder. Not one name in the text. I named the song “Spare the Virgins” because that’s what the verse actually says.
Read →Energy-Draining People: A Field Guide and an Exit Plan
Some people don't drain you on purpose. They just never stop. Here's how to identify every type and actually get out.
Read →Change Is Scary. Do It Scared.
Leaving the hometown, leaving the church, releasing the first song... every real change I made was terrifying. Fear isn't a stop sign. It's a compass pointing at what matters.
Read →Fortnite Creators Are Running Circles Around the Music Industry
Fortnite creators own their audience and build direct fan relationships. The music industry is still catching up, and musicians should steal every page of that playbook.
Read →Game Content: What I Play When the Studio Wins
Gaming is the only place my brain actually shuts up. Cozy games when tired, rage games when frustrated, story games when I need a full reset. Here's the full rotation.
Read →Purity Culture Didn’t Protect Me
It protected the men who harmed me. That’s what “Not Your Object” is about. That’s what purity culture is actually for.
Read →The Eyes Filter and What It Gets Wrong About Faces
The eyes filter quietly edits your face until the real one feels wrong. Here's what I decided to keep, and why your unfiltered face is not failing a standard. It's beating one.
Read →2026 Brides and the Purity Industrial Complex
I love love. But white dresses, fathers 'giving away' brides, and obedience vows are ownership rituals dressed in flowers. Know what you're choosing before you choose it.
Read →Positive Morning Vibes for the Chronically Nocturnal
My morning starts at 11am and I refuse to be ashamed of it. A real musician's routine, without the 5am performance or the guilt.
Read →Anatomy of a Viral Video (From Someone It Happened To)
I had one viral video. It took twelve minutes to make and I was wearing a shirt I'd had on for two days. Here's what actually happened and why chasing it will rot your catalog.
Read →Making HEATHEN HYMNS
The record started as a journal. Then it became a reckoning. Here’s how 13 tracks about losing faith became the most honest thing I’ve ever made.
Read →Being Fit Without Joining the Cult of It
I exercise for stage stamina, not punishment. Here's how I quit the shame economy of fitness content and started actually enjoying moving my body.
Read →Daily Reminder: You Were Never Broken
Original sin is the oldest marketing scam: sell the disease, sell the cure. The daily reminder I actually needed was someone telling me I was whole to begin with.
Read →Decoding the FYP: What Your Feed Says About You
Your FYP is a psych eval you didn't consent to. Here's how to read what it's actually saying about you and take some of the wheel back.
Read →The Contradictions They Told Me Not to Notice
Two creation stories. Two Jesus genealogies. God vs. Satan moving David. Judas dying two ways. The contradictions I was trained not to notice... until I read the book myself.
Read →The Angry Woman Narrative
They call it rage when a woman says no. They call it passion when a man does the same thing louder. I’m done shrinking it.
Read →TikTok Chose My Sound and Dragged Me
The algorithm assigned me a slow, heavy sound mid-rollout and the comment section said 'she's processing.' They were not wrong.
Read →Cool Things on TikTok Shop That Aren't Junk
TikTok Shop is a casino. Here's my skeptic's filter for not getting burned, and the few things that genuinely surprised me.
Read →Bedroom Lamp Aesthetic: A Treatise Against the Big Light
The overhead light in my bedroom has been dark for two years and I haven't missed it once. Turn off the big light. Let the lamps win.
Read →Skincare for People Who Sleep in Eyeliner
Stage makeup, insomnia, and a budget. Here's what actually moved the needle on my skin and what was just expensive optimism in a nice jar.
Read →Bisexual Is Not a Coin Flip
You don’t have to be 50/50 to be bi. That’s not how attraction works. That’s not how any of this works.
Read →Fishing Content Healed Something in Me
I make loud music and I've been watching quiet fishing videos at midnight. Turns out stillness isn't optional. It's load-bearing.
Read →TikTok Photo Trends I Actually Tried
I tested seven TikTok photo trends for the rollout. Three worked, two failed completely, and one accidentally became my favorite photo I've ever taken.
Read →Expanding Floss and Other Things I Watched at 3AM
It started with insomnia, and somehow I ended up at 3am watching a man enthusiastically explain expanding dental floss. I regret nothing.
Read →I Didn't Lose My Faith. I Read It.
People keep telling me I was never a real believer. I was the front-row girl with the underlined Bible. Deconstruction is what honesty looks like.
Read →Fluffy Video Therapy
My saved folder is 170 baby animal videos and I refuse to be embarrassed. Soft content is nervous-system maintenance, not weakness. Here's my case.
Read →The 'Imagine' Scenario Trend Is Fan Fiction Going Mainstream
The 'imagine scenario boss assistant' trend is fan fiction going mainstream, and my thesis is: it's reaching for the same thing every song reaches for.
Read →Body Count Is a Scam
The concept was invented to control women. It has always been a control mechanism dressed up as morality. I’m calling it.
Read →Peace Without Heaven
I lost heaven. Took me a while to find out that finite life doesn't make everything meaningless. It makes everything irreplaceable.
Read →Adorable Dogs Are the Last Pure Content on the Internet
Gerald the terrier-philosopher had one ear up and one sideways, and I sat on a concrete shelter floor for twenty minutes I didn't plan to give.
Read →What R U Doing Reading This? (Good. Stay.)
Everyone said long-form was dead. You're here anyway. I love you for it, and here's why I keep writing when nobody's supposed to read.
Read →Mood at Work: Self-Employed Edition
Seven moods of a studio day: delusionally optimistic at 9am, completely feral by 3pm, and somehow still in the closet booth at midnight.
Read →God’s Favorite Sin
If pride is the worst sin, why does every institution built in God’s name reek of it? I’ve got questions and the pulpit doesn’t like them.
Read →Bathrooms Designed by Women: A Hill I'll Die On
No outlet near the mirror, lighting like a crime scene, fourteen inches of counter. Who designed this and why didn't they ask a woman first?
Read →Post That Content: Stop Waiting for Permission
Perfectionism is fear in a nicer outfit. The 'post it ugly' rule that grew my audience, and why waiting until it's ready is just waiting forever.
Read →Satisfying Clay Cracking and the Science of Brain Tingles
My brain needs satisfying clay cracking videos after mixing sessions. Here's the actual neuroscience behind ASMR, and what it taught me about producing music.
Read →Early Morning Motivation (From Someone Who Hates Mornings)
I am not a morning person and I never will be. Here's what actually gets me up and working: no 5am club cosplay, just the honest version.
Read →Creator Search Insights: How I Decide What to Post
TikTok's Creator Search Insights is genuinely useful. Here's my actual system for using it without becoming a content robot who's forgotten what they think.
Read →How Bite Became a Scream
The song started quiet. It ended up being the loudest thing on the record. Here’s what happened in between.
Read →Your Confidence Is Back: Mine Took the Scenic Route
Purity culture didn't just take my freedom. It took my trust in my own judgment. Here's the scenic route my confidence had to take to get back.
Read →Art and Drawing: My First Language Before Music
I had sketchbooks before I had a guitar. How drawing shaped HEATHEN HYMNS' visual world, and why visual art is still half of how I think.
Read →Getting Into Makeup in My Late Twenties
Growing up, makeup was 'vanity.' Now it's war paint. Beginner notes for late arrivals: no 47-step routine, just the stuff that actually changed things.
Read →Underground Artist Economics: What Indie Actually Costs
Real numbers: what it actually costs to make and release an indie record, why $6.66/month matters more than 250,000 Spotify streams, and how the math works.
Read →“Wife Material” Is a Control Mechanism
The phrase exists to sort women into useful and useless. I know which category they put me in. I’m fine with it.
Read →Friday Vibes When You Work for Yourself
Fridays mean nothing and everything when you're self-employed. Here's the fake-weekend ritual that keeps me from turning into a work-blurred ghost.
Read →Disney Recommendations From Your Goth Aunt
Villain songs were my first music education. Here's your goth aunt's actual Disney rewatch list, and why Hellfire is one of the greatest songs ever written.
Read →Positive Encouragement for People Who Hate Positivity
Toxic positivity can go to hell. Here's what blunt, honest encouragement actually looks like, no generic affirmation poster required.
Read →Christian Nationalism Isn't Christianity. It's Worse.
My problem has never been with the pew. It's with the grift that colonized the word 'Christian' and is using it to consolidate power.
Read →The Art of the Photo Dump Slideshow
The blurry frame isn't the mistake. It's the proof. Here's why the photo dump beats the polished post every time, and how to actually sequence one.
Read →The Comfy Fit Manifesto
Comfort isn't lazy. It's a refusal. Dressing for your own body instead of someone else's eyes is the whole philosophy, and I'm done apologizing for the flannel.
Read →BookLove: What I'm Reading Between Sessions
BookTok found me and now I annotate in four colors like a person with no chill. The fiction that wrecked me, the deconversion memoirs, the craft books. Come nerd out with me.
Read →Hell Was the First Threat I Ever Believed
They explained hell to me when I was seven years old and called it love. Here's what fear-based faith does to a nervous system, and the slow work of unlearning terror.
Read →Morning as a Mom? Not Me. Here's the Childfree Cut.
MomTok mornings deserve their own content, but so does the childfree cut. Plants, a borrowed beagle, voice memos, and the quiet kind of care that looks like no one's watching.
Read →1000 Views, 1000 Likes: Small Numbers Are Real People
1000 views feels like nothing until you remember: that's six sold-out rooms of people who chose to be there. The platform lied to you about what small means. Here's the real math.
Read →The Most Important Thing to Me Right Now
It's not the record. It's not the numbers. The most important thing to me right now is the honesty that built all of it, and protecting it long enough to finish what I started.
Read →God Hates Shrimp Too: A Field Guide to Cherry-Picking Leviticus
Shellfish, mixed fabrics, tattoos... all in Leviticus. So why does only one verse survive into politics? A field guide to selective scripture from someone who read the whole book.
Read →Lash Lift and Tint: Before, After, and Was It Worth It
I got the lash lift and tint. Then I played a sweaty show. Here's the honest review, the stage-sweat durability verdict, and why I've already booked the next appointment.
Read →Notary Signing Agent: The Side Hustle TikTok Won't Shut Up About
TikTok has been pushing notary signing agent at me for six weeks. I finally looked into it, and the boring stamp hustle has more dignity than the dropshipping dream ever did.
Read →The FYP Edit: Curating Your Own Brain
I nuked my TikTok FYP and rebuilt it from scratch. My algorithm was a portrait of my anxiety, and once I cleared it out, something genuinely useful grew in the space.
Read →The Real Mirror Filter and the Face I Made Peace With
The real mirror filter showed everyone their "true" face and the internet spiraled. I've been making peace with my asymmetrical one for years. Here's what I actually learned.
Read →The Woodworking Project That Humbled Me
I built a pedalboard shelf. I measured once, cried twice, and learned more about patience and craft than any YouTube tutorial had the nerve to warn me about.
Read →Little Things That Make Me Stupidly Happy
A joy inventory from a professional cynic: first-sip coffee, a kick drum that finally sits right, clean sheets on a Thursday, and strangers' dogs. I'm soft. Deal with it.
Read →Drag Queens Never Hurt Me. Youth Pastors Did.
The moral panic about drag queens and children makes zero sense to anyone who grew up inside evangelical youth ministry. I have the receipts.
Read →TikTok Made Me Buy It: Receipts and Regrets
Full confession audit of my TikTok purchases with verdicts. Some of these were intelligent. Most were not. You deserve the truth about the humidifier.
Read →Bi in the Bible Belt
Church closets, conversion-adjacent counseling, and refusing to shrink one more inch. Being bisexual in a Christian nationalist country, from the inside.
Read →Viral Things to Buy That Are Actually Worth It
A broke-then-stable indie musician's confession audit of viral TikTok purchases: what survived a year in my apartment and what went straight to the donate pile.
Read →Fortnite Moments That Live Rent-Free in My Head
Fortnite hosted concerts for twelve million people and became a generation's social square. That's not just a game. That's a venue.
Read →Fortnite Emote Edits Are a Legitimate Art Form
Teenagers syncing Fortnite emotes to beats have more rhythm literacy than most music videos I've watched. I take my editing notes from them now.
Read →My Camp Setup: A City Girl Goes Feral
I went camping with no signal, a can of beans I couldn't open, and Sunday the guitar. I wrote two songs by the fire and I'm going back.
Read →Two Genocides Before Breakfast: My Old Testament Reading Plan
I read the Old Testament without the apologetics filter. The body count nobody preaches, and 'context' as the all-purpose excuse for genocide.
Read →The Striking Effect Filter vs. Actual Lighting
That cinematic filter everyone's using? I reverse-engineered it with a $30 thrift-store lamp named Gerald. Light is free. Use it.
Read →Intimidating Presence: What They Call Women Who Don't Flinch
'Intimidating' is an insult wearing a compliment's clothes, and I'm done pretending it's flattering when it just means you forgot to perform smallness.
Read →Birdwatching Is Punk Now
A crow named Kevin started a feud outside my studio window and accidentally got me into birdwatching. Paying attention is the most rebellious thing left.
Read →My Look Alike: TikTok Thinks I Have a Twin
TikTok is convinced I have a doppelgänger. What I found made me think about identity harder than any mirror ever has.
Read →Amazing Edits and the Editors Who Deserve Royalties
Fan editors are doing unpaid marketing for artists they love, and the music industry should be embarrassed by how little credit they get.
Read →Nails, Nails, Nails: Claws as Self-Expression
Guitarist problem: left hand short and calloused, right hand gets to be art. Five nails, five tiny canvases, and a youth leader who once called my acrylics 'not edifying.'
Read →What I Miss About Church (And What I Don't)
The potlucks were real. The harmony was real. The casseroles when someone was sick were real. So was the price of admission. You can grieve something and still know why you left.
Read →Sea Moss Gel and the Wellness Grift
I took sea moss gel for three weeks so you don't have to. Result: expensive algae, zero miracles. Also: why wellness marketing and faith healing share the exact same architecture.
Read →Free Will, Pharaoh, and the God Who Hardens Hearts
Exodus says God hardened Pharaoh's heart, then punished him for it. I tracked every instance with a pencil and ran out of apologetics moves. Here's what the text actually says.
Read →The Rain on Me Ponytail, Attempted by a Woman With Too Much Hair
I tried the rain on me ponytail. I have a LOT of hair. There were four seconds of triumph, then the bathroom humidity remembered it existed. Full report inside.
Read →Morning Prayer? I Make Coffee and Thank No One
Morning prayer content is everywhere. I'm an atheist, so I grind the beans, stand at the window, and feel grateful to no one in particular. Turns out that's enough.
Read →Financial Freedom Lifestyle: The Grift vs. the Real Version
The laptop-on-beach version is a vibe, not a plan. Real freedom as an indie artist looks boring: low overhead, owned masters, no boss. No course required.
Read →Be Weird, Be Random, Be Damned
The trend says 'be yourself' like it's easy. I grew up where 'be yourself' had an asterisk the size of a steeple. The unguarded thing is real. It just costs something first.
Read →Editing Is the Whole Game
Taste lives in what you remove, not what you add. I've cut songs off the record, killed bridges I loved, and learned that 'good but wrong' is the hardest thing to kill.
Read →Cozy RV Living: My Tour-Van Fantasy
I've been watching RV-Tok for two months and I have a spreadsheet. The tour-van dream is real, detailed, and waiting for this record to be done first.
Read →My Cozy Setup: Where the Songs Actually Get Written
Tour of the converted closet where I'm making this record: the lamp, the notebook graveyard, the interface, and the chair from 2009 that will outlive us all.
Read →The Year I Read the Bible Without the Rose-Colored Glasses
I was a front-row girl. Then I read the whole thing, no filter, no pastor smoothing it over, and the pencil marks accumulated fast. Here's what's actually in the text.
Read →What MomTok Taught a Childfree Woman About Love
I don't want kids, and MomTok made me cry three times. Turns out watching someone be fully, unhedged-ly in their life does something to you regardless of the life.
Read →Basketball Content for People Who Don't Watch Basketball
I don't follow basketball but the highlight edits own me. A good hoops edit is just a music video: rhythm, escalation, a payoff that lands because of everything before it.
Read →SpiritTok Is Just Church With Crystals
An ex-evangelical looked at manifestation content and recognized every single control pattern she'd already left behind. Same architecture, different fonts.
Read →My Actual Financial Freedom Strategy (No Course to Sell)
No guru, no course, nothing to sell. Just the unsexy truth: emergency fund first, own your masters, diversify small. It works because it has to.
Read →Clean Setups and the Myth of the Aesthetic Workspace
Minimal desk porn is aspirational, not causal. Visual order is a symptom of focus, not the source, and my clean-enough system gets more done than either extreme.
Read →My Cute Office Setup Is a Lie (Here's the Real One)
That tidy desk photo? Twenty-five minutes of moving things out of frame. The real studio is a cable crime scene, and it's where the music actually happens.
Read →The 'Yourself' Video: Me, Unedited
The 'introduce yourself with no branding' trend asked for the real version. Here it is: one closet studio, one dying pothos, and the record I'm determined to finish.
Read →Financially Independent and Nobody's Wife
The church said to be provided for. I built my own ledger instead and learned that financial independence isn't a wall, it's a floor that belongs to me.
Read →Small Chickens Have My Whole Heart
ChickenTok found me during a writing spiral and I have zero regrets. Aunt Deb's bantams have more personality per ounce than most creatures on earth.
Read →A Quality Sound System Is Not Optional
You've been hearing about your favorite music, not hearing it. Here's the honest budget path to actually listening, from someone who records in a closet.
Read →The 'You're So Pretty' Audio Made Me Cry, Whatever
That 'you're so pretty' audio hit somewhere I wasn't expecting. Turns out four seconds of uncomplicated kindness is a lot when you weren't trained to receive it.
Read →Cute Comfy Fits: Dressing Like a Feral Librarian
Band tees, flannel, Docs, and zero apologies. My feral librarian formula, and why somebody's mom once called it 'a little casual' at youth group.
Read →Haircut Filters Almost Made Me Do Something Stupid
Haircut filters + 2am + fabric scissors = the bangs incident of last spring. A confession about creative-block displacement and why the red hair stays.
Read →The Gender Swap Filter and Other Thought Experiments
I ran the gender swap filter at 1am and met Victor Rae. He taught me exactly what I'd get to skip, and why I don't actually want to be him.
Read →